Friends, I promise I’ll have more to say soon. For now, how about just a quickie?
My head has been extra unstable lately, and every thought gets overridden by this stinging, burning, achy, rawness that radiates from right between my ears, down my throat and throughout my gullet, as well as through my eyes and every bit of bone from brow to jaw socket. I feel like my nose is bleeding constantly and I’m choking on blood clots (my nose bleeds down my throat instead of out my nostrils; has ever since it was cauterized in grade school, and yes, I do choke on it since my swallowing mechanisms don’t behave properly). It might just be mucus – I can’t bend my head back enough to see – but I feel like there’s an open, bleeding wound inside my palate/throat area.
There is minimal functioning here; the last two days, I got up for breakfast but went back to bed right after and slept til after sunset both days. It’s all CCI and inflammation, too. Laying down, I feel okay enough to do stuff, but after being up about ten minutes, the Raw Bomb hits again, and I can’t put a four-word sentence together, let alone accomplish anything I need to do regarding appointments, my SSDI case, dealing with family drama, etc.
Yes, family drama: my sister tried to reestablish contact a few days ago, and I told her ‘no’, so of course she blew up at me for being “abusive”. I’ll get a post up about that soon, but I don’t have the brain for it yet. Another day or two of rest should do it. I hope, anyway.
On a more positive note, I have MRIs and a same-day followup scheduled with the new spine specialist on March 1st. I’m putting all viable bits of energy into manifesting clear and helpful images that set us up for a workable gameplan that day. It’s when I find extra spoons that I’ll deal with my sister and the Disability stuff.
For now, I’ll enjoy watching the snow fall and listening to Kasey snore for a bit longer and then soak in the tub.
I wanted to share a couple shots of the snow, too, but I guess my phone makes photo files that are too big even when the HD is off. I just spent half an hour trying and failing to shrink the files to a usable size, so just imagine a bunch of cold white shit all over the ground and call it pretty.