Today… is a rest day.

I’ve had a migraine brewing since midday yesterday. Actually, I felt its precursors starting on Tuesday, but it didn’t become real pain until probably late afternoon yesterday, and now there’s a Category 6 hot, spiky rock perched right between my ears. (I’m combining severe weather categorization with the 1-10 pain scale because it’s never *just pain*. As my pain increases, so do many other symptoms. It’s always a shit storm; it just varies in intensity. Maybe I’ll work up a categorization protocol and share it. Input welcome.)

My appetite keeps shrinking. I’ve been taking digestive enzymes for a couple weeks now, and while I’m seeing very minor changes in the food that leaves my body, I’ve had no relief from pain or nausea. In fact, since my stool is slightly more solid, it’s harder to move through my system, which creates more pain and nausea. I’m 5’7″ and down to 110 pounds now because I just can’t get my body to take in enough food, and the food I do eat doesn’t get broken down and absorbed properly. I consistently have to make myself eat because I hardly get hungry, and when I do, I get four or five bites into something and feel like I’ll vomit if I eat more. I’m amazed I’m still functioning at all with my severely limited caloric intake. Almost makes me want to stop taking my supplements for a few days to see just how much scaffolding they actually offer.

My neck and back have been extra painful and sensitive lately, too, feeding the theory that the eye of the storm is where brain meets brain stem at the craniocervical junction. The more bobble-headed I feel, the more problems I have overall. I saw the Neurologist last Friday, and he sent a request to insurance for approval of a brace. Whether it’ll be neck and back or just one for now, I don’t know. I’m expecting both since I really don’t have any ‘good’ spots in all of my spine. All I have to do is arch my back, and my heart freaks the fuck out. I know that because I feel it. Who knows what the hell else is actually happening at the same time. I’m sure my syrinx has partnered quite diabolically with that CC junction. I might even accuse the syrinx of being the prime culprit if it started any higher than it does.

Part of me wants to be excited, thinking about how I’ll (hopefully) be able to do more with the added support. Part of me is dreading becoming ‘the girl in the back brace’. What I’m holding on to is that when my body hits tilt and I can’t move, I’ll have the brace to wear for some relief and won’t have to fight with a pile of pillows on the floor that doesn’t get vacuumed enough.

As for today, I got down about 8 ounces of kefir and granola, and I remembered all my pills. I’ll take probably two of the migraine pills I don’t like taking. In a couple hours, I’ll choke down a little more food. And other than critter care, I’ll be found laying flat either on the couch or the bed, wishing I could just sleep. Sleeping is when I get my break from things. I like sleep.

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