This painting is about the trials in life that left me feeling dead inside and the transition, each time, back into the world of the living. It’s an assertion to those toxic people who, for whatever reason, saw fit to beat me down in some way. It’s a celebration of that surprising strength that pulled me out of the depths each time I was left for dead, and represents the honor to be found in triumphant survival and defiant existence. (Mostly, I’m talking about my ex-husband, but he’s not been the only source of toxicity in my life.)
“You may have beaten me down. You may have left me for dead, spitting those coffin nails into my flesh while I gasped for whatever breath I could find. You probably think you have all my power. But you are wrong. So wrong. You have no power. That’s why you were so desperate for mine and tried with all your might to leach it out of me.
You failed.You’re a failure. You do nothing but fail.
Look at me still breathing. Watch me lift my head and write this admonition in the ashes you think have buried me. READ IT, you parasite.
‘I’m alive again.’
I may have curled up on the line between life and death, but I did not stay there, and I did not cross all the way over. You did not kill me, and you did not win, and you WILL NEVER WIN. I am alive, fully alive, now, and it’s your turn to be scared. It’s your turn to wish you’d never seen my face or heard my name. All you did was ignite a Phoenix, you bastard, and you bet your ass I will see to it that your soul is set ablaze with the hell-fire that can only be born from the triumphant rekindling of an angry woman’s embers.
And no, I will not kill you. You’re already dead inside, and the whole world knows it.
My fury is out there. I’ve let it go. It’s loose, independent, hovering in the air around your consciousness, just waiting for your karma to need more fuel. And oh what comforting warmth it gives off, the cosmic light I’ve created to extinguish your darkness.”
16″x20″ Acrylic on back-stapled canvas Buy it on Etsy